As I stood among the flowers and balloons, scents swirling around me, I saw a middle-aged man seeming to struggle, brow furrowed and arms crossed about his chest, as he stood before (suspense music) flowers? He wasn’t alone. Men of all ages, colors and backgrounds meandered through the aisles of bouquets and balloons, heads darting in indecision from one rose to the next, hands reaching out warily to grasp the object that might prove their love, the stick and bud that might win them favor with their personal goddesses. Cost: Priceless.

See, what I saw – what many of us who care so diligently about our spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend see every year as we commit to pressures undeserving of our willingness to please – was simply pathetic.

The day men fear is the same span of 24 hours Hallmark revels in. This company delights in the pointlessness and subsequent havoc wreaked by a “holiday” created solely for the purpose of profit, manufactured so their bank accounts might provide what the creatives and execs can’t get in their bedrooms: fleeting gratification. It only happens once a year, this Valentine’s Day, yet,according to Yahoo! News, More than 50 percent of dating relationships end on V-Day — sometimes the pressure is too much.

When I was in the Navy, I heard from scads of women that they wanted to be able to advance through the ranks with the same speed as men, but added in the same rant that they didn’t want to fight on the frontlines, that they didn’t want to be Seals – that men were “built for that kinda’ stuff.” And this is an attitude mirrored through the myriad of life’s facets – women want the glory without the work. A lot of women don’t like doing yardwork, so they send their ox to do the labor, to toil in the thick, humid air of mowed lawns and whacked weeds. Who usually changes a flat tire if a nail or whatever sends asses bouncing to the thuds of flaccidity?

Women are struggling for equality, striving to attain a level of self-worth they’ve been denied in years past. However, if they are to ever be truly equal, they must share the same burdens as their male counterparts. This means they should feel obligated to show, with comparable fervor as most of us men do, their love and willingness to spend inordinate amounts of money on edible goods and meaningful material possessions. Why? Men like stuff too! We like to get presents and candy. We want to be showered with unadulterated love and affection just as much as any woman. Sheesh, we’re still human.

Don’t get me wrong; V-Day does have its ups. For instance, if a man does a glorious job of purchasing and schmoozing, he might get laid. Also, a job well done on this day of Valentination may clear the slate, may even wax and buff it to a better shine than was streaked across the pane of our relationships.

It seems almost one-sided, though, putting men through the gauntlet of V-Day. Now, I know not all women do this to their better halves – it’s fairly easy to see that a lot of women care just as much about pleasing as being pleased, and it goes without saying that they will be pleased by pleasing. And not all men put forth the same level of effort as my acquaintances or I, hence the long running joke about men forgetting this date or that appointment. Regardless, if either really loves their other, show them by doing rather than expecting.

Men die younger than women – though, according to the love of my life, men who remain single die younger than married men, and women who remain single live longer than those who allow someone to suck the life out of them, slowly, over the next 50 years. Some doctors say men experience higher levels of stress than most women, a consequence that lessens the length of life, and it follows that, if men are to ever combat the stresses of holidays and celebrations, they’ll need the unwavering support and consistent balance of their significant others.

As my girlfriend put it, “Valentine’s Day is for men who forget anniversaries.” If men are ever going to prove their love, they should stop babying women. Tell your sexy siren, “Look, we have an anniversary once a year, and it means more than any Valentine’s Day ever will. So, you can have an edification of my love and devotion today or you can have it on A-Day.” If she cries or pouts, or even slaps you in the face, then you’ll know she cares more about the day than the significance of what it represents.
If she can see your point, or even agrees to work with you on V-Day, then she’ll feel the fruits of helping relieve your pressure, your stress -- and the expectations will be shared. Thus, the gifts will mean that much more.

End result: Sue and Bill laugh at their friends’ attempts to swoon. They will delight, together, in the simplicity of their lives now that one pointless holiday is stricken from the record – permanently.

And later, on the agreed-upon day, after our loves are gifted with matter that matters not, we men can fall into a comfortable sleepy land knowing our job is done for one more year, knowing we will earn half as many grey hairs now that Hallmark has been thwarted.