Lighten up, Academy Awards

	By NICOLE DONNER

The Academies were a bore this year. Yes, I agree with the theme of ol hollywood glamour and the beauty it holds but that does not give the excuse for stars to act dull and make the entire show uneventable.

But that is no reason for everybody to stay behind the respectable lines of fashion. There was no Bjork’s swan dress, no ballerina outfit worn by Lara Flynn Boyle, and not a single kilt or frill could be seen within miles. Not all the stars made it inside the Kodak Theater but you were put to sleep nonetheless.

There is one thing you can say about actors in Hollywood these days: they are talented but with a sense of humor that could challenge a desert.

The speeches and commentaries made by the presenters and winners were scripted and so rehearsed that nothing was exciting and nothing shocked you. I wanted tears, I wanted stories about dead grandmothers, but instead stars like Reese Witherspoon and Phillip Seymour Hoffman gave solid speeches and without a hint of gratitude walked off stage with their Oscars. How boring! Make political jokes, talk about the great sex you had the night before; shock us! You don’t need to rip off your shirt or take a couple of hits at Jack Nicholson but do something we will remember the next day. People need something to talk about when standing around the water cooler.

The small but little light this award show held was the witty commentary provided by Jon Stewart. With playful and careful jabs to some members of the academy and the politics (“I’m sorry Bjork couldn’t make it tonight but she’s been shot by Dick Cheney”), the show kept a slow but steady speed the entire night. We must not forget Ben Stiller’s “Best Special Effects” act with the lime green suit, or George Clooney’s small, innocent poke at politics and Three 6 Mafia’s moment from when they were announced the winner for best original score to ... well, maybe their moment hasn’t ended. Small waves were what made the vast ocean we call the Academy awards amusing.

With upsets in such categories as “Crash” being the winner of best picture and the several awards stolen from “Brokeback Mountain,” the awards followed the theme of older Hollywood; the awards were meant for the older audience members.

A suggestion for the academy? Relax and have fun next year. The awards were meant to celebrate the finest in film and allows movie stars to get dressed up and have fun and not be uptight.