As we put shameless “kick me” signs on the backs of unwitting victims or put chocolate laxatives in your best friend’s cappuccino, do any of us consider the history behind the pranks of April Fools Day?

It all started around 200 A.C. in a small village in Southern Rome. A small faction of disgruntled Apollo followers being persecuted by Venusians decided to fight back and put an end to it. There were only a few hundred Apollatians compared to the millions of Venusians, so a direct assault was not possible. They decided to go after the center of culture and politics: the Coliseum.

The Apollatian terrorists snuck into the underground corridors with 36 barrels of Greek fire, enough to destroy the Coliseum and everyone in it. They chose the emperor’s birthday to attack to ensure that he and all his family and advisers would be present during the explosion.

The terrorists dressed like entertainers to gain access to the underground catacombs. The terrorist and their explosives were lifted to the center of the stage during the climax of the birthday presentation. To maintain their cover, they danced around and played along with the rest of the act, until the barrels spilled all the explosive oil which was ignited by a torch. The Coliseum turned into a colossal pyre as the terrorists ran around, being burned alive.

The emperor was quite pleased with his birthday performance, his favorite part being the end where the “fools” came out, danced around and were engulfed in flames. In honor of his dead entertainers, he declared April 1 to be a national day of celebration of fools.
So when you think about wrapping your teacher’s car in plastic wrap, remember the sacrifice of some dedicated, extra-crispy ancient Romans and one very easily amused emperor.