Many of us are familiar with the tale of King Arthur and his quest for the Holy Grail. No, not the one with a killer rabbit and a sorcerer named Tim, but that’s beside the point. What if after all the trekking, all the bloodshed and the wasted shrubberies, what if Arthur said to his knights “Oh, by the way, there is no Grail. I just made a big deal about this thing to give us something to do.” Would they laugh it off as a kind-hearted joke or consider some serious regicide? Chances are, they wouldn’t be very happy. I don’t think anyone would, but many are happy in just such an instance today to let it slide.

I speak of those who make a big deal out of a small or nonexistent issue just so they can become the hero and save the day. You know who I mean: moms on the PTA who are adamant about not letting their kid(s) read Mark Twain, little old church ladies who get up in arms because the choir leader used a saxophone, or those who take a simple joke and act like it was a direct assault on everything they hold dear. They think themselves great heroes for the work they do because a great problem, unforeseen by others, was solved by their strength and valor. Do you know that no one else saw it, because it’s not there. And no one is grateful to a person who makes a mess only to clean it up saying, “Look what I can do.”

But this is not a message to the faux-heroes, but to the unwitting victims of their self-inflicted distress. Telling them they are wrong is pointless because they are beyond the grasp or reason. (Such is evident by their irrational behavior.) And if you can’t raise the bridge, lower the water. If someone in your life is running around after quests they can venture upon, let them have it. Don’t hit them, but give them exactly what they want in full force. If a mother doesn’t like Mark Twain, don’t simply ban the books, but have a public book-burning in her honor. If the old ladies don’t like “hip” music, play everything on an autoharp. If someone with HDS (Humor Deficiency Syndrome) wants you to apologize for an joke, hold a public press conference to admit your error. The idea is like playing tug-of-war: if the other person is expecting a lot of opposition and they receive very little, they will fall flat on their tuckous.

These heroes seem to be hell-bent on saving the day. So if we take away the challenge, they will have to find a new quest or may even give up entirely. But then again, “The black knight always triumphs!”