Another summer has passed into the history books.Diaries and day planners tossed into burn barrels.

Now is the time for old friends to reunite: students and their textbooks.

How was my summer? The better question is: Could it have been worse?

Lets knock one out of the park to begin with. I quit smoking. The cravings and shakes still haven’t died down.

Next, my last wisdom tooth poked through my gums and, like an agoraphobic vampire, I was left to drink my own blood. Any morsel of food near the hole felt like a screwdriver in an electric socket.

Here comes the climax: My appendix ruptured. One of my organs exploded like a grenade while still inside of me.

To increase my pain I was appointed a sadistic doctor and nurses ranging from Nurse Ratchet to the Joker’s RN. You know you’re in pain when morphine reduces your agony as much as a Diet Coke would.

I was assigned bed rest, missed work, wasted money on an expensive liquid diet, and missed school. After being in bed watching MTV’s “The Real World” for weeks, you would be begging for fresh classroom air.

Some might say, “walk it off” or “suck it up” when something goes wrong in life.

I say complain, throw a full-catered pity party. Being brave and strong is a fool’s way to handle it. You might get a pat on the back.

Honesty is the best policy. You have a valid reason for being a jerk so grab onto it. Just don’t milk the cow dry.

Enjoy your troubled life because it could be worse, and if it’s worse than mine I feel for you, and contact me because it would make a good story.